Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My new blog entry is here (30 people just killed themselves)

I walked into my living room this morning, expecting some good television, maybe a few funny commercials... I was horribly mistaken, my sister was watching "As the World Turns" televisions tribute to the handicapped. I walked in a a terribly "dramatic" moment, people were crowded in the streets, as a man yelled "THE BOMB IS ABOUT TO GO OFF!!!" followed by a few screams from the group. Well, he might as well have said "Okay, guys don't go anywhere, get blown up for all I care... do not hop in the nearest car and get your useless ass somewhere else, because we need the drama." Now I suppose I would have a different reaction if say i knew anything about the "plot", but I'm not in to self torture. But back on topic, why did they stand there waiting for the fucking bomb to go off... go to the mall, ANYWHERE except for where you are, go to the fuckin sahara for all I care, just step away from the building that's about to lodged in your head! FUCK YOU'RE STUPID!!!.
Now, I bet there's gonna be a hero who saves the day and the lives of all the people who are much too stupid to go somewhere, there always is... But it takes a good 3-4 episodes before this bomb that is "about to go off" to actually almost go off before the suave, sharp hero walks in and then 3 more episodes when he is trying to disarm the bomb... he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer... he probably doesn't have a Ph.D... even though in the show he is probably a doctor. Soon he'll be surrounded by attractive women one of which he is married to, another is his mistress, another is his nurse, and the last is probably his evil demon queen... all of whom he has sex with on a regular basis. Now none of these women have any idea that the others have been probed by him lately. (I'd usually say they knew his wife was but they're pretty stupid... I'm surprised they know how to breathe, let alone talk or know something)
I've seen a few soap operas in my time... not because I like them, but because I wake up in the morning on the couch, my sisters have already taken over the television, and are about to watch their "soaps". Well, I woke up just in time to torture myself, yipee. I try to get away, but then my sister does the unthinkable... asks me to watch. I reply with a simple... "Uhhh... noooo?..." then there is swearingand yelling, and to make people not hate Tim, he sits down... everything is calm... but then the show starts... my god, did they go to the, "Overly Attractive Handicapped Hospital" to find their actors... they mispronounce words, and can act about as well as I can skateboard(Which for those of you who don't know isn't very well) and the script writers come down the street from the "OAHH" at the "My God How Do I Make a Good Plot? Hospital". Well the mixture of the two, become a festering pile of crap... sure beautiful crap, but it's still crap. While I'm ranting on about soap operas I suppose I'll talk about the most gratuitous award of all time... THE SOAPIES!!!!... and I'll tell you how it goes, whoever was the least crappy at acting their part (Remember people these performances aren't worth Golden Globes, or Grammys here), gets a funny little award, that any self respecting actor or actress would torch as soon as they got home.
So I leave you now, my Homedawgs, and Homedawgettes, to ponder the mythical words of me, your lord and master... or maybe I'm just the guy, who writes a blog that you aren't too excited to read, who the hell knows... but if you read it, leave me a message, I need some feedback... and I don't wan't any, ROFLMAO, U SUXORZ LOLOLOLOL!!!1... Maybe try to be just as or a little less logical than my blog... I'm leaving you alot of room to speak here people... Until next time ciao!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Well, this is my blog if you don't like it then SCREW YOU!!!

Well, I would first like to point how much I rock(Not all that much much)... Anywho, this is my blog and I'm a fellow named Tim, and I live in Canada, but in fear of being raped or something I will give no more information. Back on topic this is my blog, and to my understanding of blogs, you rant in a humorous manner for a while on random subjects, and my big reason today is... *Drumroll* "UNSTIRRED YOGURT!!!!!!" (For those who don't know the comings and goings of yogurt, they pretty much come in two varieties stirred and unstirred. Stirred is with the dairy product and fruit all mixed around like you're a useless prick with no spoon or skillz... and unstirred has the fruit in the bottom and the dairy product on top.) and why did I choose yogurt, you ask? Because i find stirred yogurt to be an insult to my stirring skills. It's like they're dangling a pork chop (Or for all you vegitarians out there just imagine I said carrot) in front of my face, like I can't stir my own damn yogurt it's like a slap in the face. I bet they make it with the will to make overthinkers like myself string themselves up with their chrismas lights... oh yes, Christmas Lights. I think I may write and angry letter to a dairy company staging my yogurt complaint. In closing, the yogurt companies are out to get me.